变味的情书
Dear Orchid,
How was life treating you? You must feel extremely startled at the fact that I wrote letter to you. This is the first time that I have written you a letter and maybe it also will be the last time.It has been almost three years since we encountered each other for the first time. We both have changed a lot over the past several years. We could not study and play the way we did in senior three because we were in different corners of the province and we had different dreams.
最近过得如何呀？我给你写信的举动一定会让你大吃一惊吧。这是有史以来第一次给你写信，而且这有可能是最后一次。自从你我第一次相遇以来已经有三年了。在过去的这几年里，我们俩的变化都很大。由于你我身处在不同的地方，怀揣着不同的理想，我们再也无法像高三那样一起玩耍一起学习了。
In the past two years, I have had little opportunity to meet you or have a sweet chat with you. I once made several attempts to talk to you via QQ, but only to find you replying to me with several holiday words. For quite a long period of time, I was very scared to talk to you via QQ. I really could not put up with the fact that you were always replying to my messages several minutes or even several hours late. Maybe you were too engaged to your study or something else to notice my messages. There were hundred of times when I cleared all the messages which were to send to you. I was constantly asking myself whether I should let go of the past sweet memories that you created for me in senior three and not to get involved in your life any more. But the fact was that I could not be able to do that.
在过去的两年里，我很少有机会跟你碰面，甚至很少跟你进行贴心般的交谈。我曾几度想通过QQ和你聊聊，却发现你只不过是随便地跟我说了几句客套话而已。有很长一段时间，我害怕跟你用QQ聊天。你要么过好几分钟要么过好几个小时才回复我的消息的行为让我实在难以忍受。或许你太忙于学习或其它的事以至于忽略了我的信息。曾有无数回，我清除了已经写好了并打算发给你的信息。我时常问着自己是否应不应该忘记那些你带给我的美好回忆，并以后不再过多地涉入你的生活。但是我却始终无法做到。
You made a big difference to my life when we were striving for our dreams in senior three. There was a secret I had hidden deeply in my heart for a long time,but I want you to know it now. It is about my first love. I once had a big crush on Qiu Ting and wrote her a love letter. To my great sorrow, she did not wrote back to me and gradually started to get detached from me. I knew she had refused me and in a way that a boy could be totally refused. I was always forcing myself to be strong and trying to forget her by devoting myself fully to my study. You can not imagine how hard it was to really get her out of my mind and be committed to my study. There was a period of time, I had no idea of what to do and how to live tomorrow. I looked very calm and happy, but nobody could feel the sadness behind it. But gradually I did know what to do and how to live tomorrow because of you. I was greatly influenced by your optimistic attitude,healthy mindset and strong enterprising spirit. You were always struggling hard for your study and your dreams. I regain the confidence to study well and the right mindset to live well. I determined to get close to you and learn from you. It gradually became a habit for me to exchange my thoughts on study with you. Playing and studying with you brought and taught me a lot.( 文章阅读网：www.sanwen.net )
在那个你我都为梦想而奋斗的高三岁月中，你对我的人生起了极大的作用。有一个秘密已经在我心底里隐藏了很久了，但是现在我希望你能了解它。它涉及到我的初恋。我曾一度迷恋上了邱婷，并给她写了一封情书。让我极为伤心的是，她不但没有回复我甚至还渐渐的疏远我。我知道她其实已经拒绝了我，而且是彻彻底底地拒绝了一个男孩。我曾一直强迫自己一定要变得坚强起来，要通过全身心地投入到学习中来试图忘记她。你无法想象放下她和真正投入到学习中对我来说是多么困难的一件事。曾有那么一段时间，我对于明天该做什么、该如何生活毫无头绪。我看上去很淡定、很快乐，可没人会知道藏在其后的悲伤。因为你，我知道自己以后明天该做什么以及该如何去度过。你积极的生活态度、健康的人生心态以及强烈的拼搏精神都极大地感染了我。你一直都在为你的学习和梦想不停地奋斗者。我重拾了学好的信心以及活好的心态。我决定接近你并以你为榜样。与你交流学习心得逐渐成为了我的一个习惯。与你共同玩耍和学习，带给了我许多也教会我许多东西。
Every time when I recalled those beautiful memories at night, You were always showing up in my dreams. In the dreams, you were so close to me. In reality, you were so far away from me. I knew that there were two decisions for me to make. One is to tell you nothing about how I feel of you, another is to express my love to you.I chose to tell you bravely in order to not feel regretful in the future. As a matter of fact, I was quite clear of what would happen. Just several days before the lunar year, I confessed to you and it turned out to be exactly as what I thought. I will not lie to you that I was not sad at all after being turned down by you. It was much painful than the previous refusal made by Qiu Ting. It was also quite different from the first one because you replied to me and in a way that a boy could be really persuaded. To be frank, I really can not match you. I am too thin, too short and too weak to give a you a sense of safety. Most importantly, I am an idiot of love. I can never know how to show my love to a girl and how to make a girl have the reason to love me.
每一次当我晚上回忆起这些美好的记忆时，你都会出现在我的梦中。在梦中，你离我是如此的近；在现实中，你却离我是如此的远。我知道我有两个选择：一是不让你知道我对你的爱，而是向你表白。为了不给未来增添遗憾，我选择了勇敢地向你表白。事实上，我清楚地知道结果会是如何。就在农历新年的前几天的一个晚上，我向你表了白而且结果与我料想的一样。我不想谎说我在被你拒绝后一点儿也不难过。它比之前被邱婷拒绝还有痛苦得多。它其实跟第一次的截然不同，因为你以一种有说服力的方式答复了我。坦白的说，我却是配不上你。我长的又矮又瘦有娇弱，是无法给你带来安全感的。最重要的是，我是爱情的白痴。我永远也不会懂得如何去向一个女孩表达自己爱，也完全找不到可以让女孩爱上我的理由。
I was quite clear of what will happen if you turn me down. It does not only mean that I have lost your love, but also mean that I have lost your friendship. You told me that you would still treat me as a good friend and hoped me to do the same.I did try to do that,but I found it didn't work.I found that you gave me little opportunity to regard you as a friend.Experience tells me that we can not and will not be friends like before.I once tried to maintain my friendship with Qiu Ting after being refused by her,but found I got nothing but pain and hatred no matter what I did.I do not know how long our present friendship can still last but I know how it will end.Although I do not want to witness that day,that day will eventually come.All the factors of happiness you bought to me will be all the reasons accounting for my future deep sorrow. Maintaining our friendship is bound to hurt both of us. I know how entangled and embarrassed you will be if you still treat me as your friend when you have already had a boyfriend. I do not want to see you do that.Before I confessed to you,We did not talked too much and met too frequent like a normal friend.It will make no difference for us to try not to be friends because we actually were not acting like friends for a long time.I should really not get involved in your life any more.
我清楚地知道被你拒绝后会发生些什么。它不仅仅意味着我失去了你的爱，还意味着我已经失去了你的友谊。你告诉我你会依然把我当好朋友看待并希望我也能继续把你当好朋友看待。我也的确尝试过那样做，但却发现根本不起作用。我发现你根本就没怎么给我把你当朋友的机会。经验告诉我，我们俩再也不可能再像以前那样成为好朋友了。在被邱婷拒绝后，我曾努力地试过去继续维持我们俩的友谊，可最后无论我怎么做，得到的只是痛苦与恨意。我不知道我们的友谊很能维持多久，但我知道它将会以怎样的方式结束。虽然我不希望看到你一天的到来，但是它最终还是会来的。你带给我的所有的快乐的因素都将会成为解释我日后悲伤的理由。继续维系我们的友谊最后一定伤了你我双方。我能够理解你将会有多纠结、多尴尬，当你明明有了男朋友却还要试着去把我当好朋友对待。我不希望看到你那么做！在没向你表白之前，你我也没有像正常的朋友那样谈过话见过面。就算你我不再做朋友了也不会有什么差别，因为我很久就没像朋友一样了做过朋友间会做的事了。我真的不应该再牵涉到你的生活中了！
I now have a strong feeling that I am going to lose you someday.I have to make the decision to end our current friendship in person because I do not want you to do it someday instead.I also know you will not do that for the time being,but you will have to do it someday not too long from now. I have already experienced the pain of losing someone I love.I really hope I can never experience it again.You can never know how painful I am to decide to let go of you first.I felt heartbroken but did not cry when I knew I was turned down by Qiu Ting.Maybe that is actually not true love for me. It was a quite different story when I was turned down by you.I did not only felt heartbroken but also shed tears When I received you refusal message.I have seldom seen myself crying over the last two decades, but I had a big cry on that night.I tried to comfort myself and told myself that it was no big deal because it is not my first time to be refused. The more I tried to comfort myself with such words, the much painful I felt in my heart.From that night I knew that I have fallen so deep in you.
我现在有着一种强烈的预感，我总有一天将会失去你。我不得我亲自作出跟你绝交的决定，因为我不想看到你某一天这么做。我已经尝过失去挚爱的人的痛苦了，我真的不想再一次去尝试。你或许不会知道最先地放弃你对我来说是多么痛苦的一件事情。在被邱婷拒绝我后，我只是感到心痛但却没有流泪。或许对我来说，那不算是真爱。被你拒绝却是截然不同的故事。当我收到你拒绝我信息时，我不仅感到心痛更是流过泪。二十多年来我很少流泪，但是那晚我却痛哭了。我试着安慰自己并告诉自己没什么大不了，因为那又不是我第一次被拒绝。我越是用这样的话安慰自己，我的心也就越痛。从那一晚起我就知道了我原来是如此地爱上了你。
I once told myself how amazing it would be if you said yes,but that was not fact.I also told myself that I should keep my love for you and never let go until I get your good answer,but I doubt myself whether that day will come or not. After all,I could not find myself having any reasons of letting you have the same feeling for me.Thus,I am determined to stop dreaming and make the hard choice.I will get you completely out of my heart in the way I forget Qiu Ting.I will be strong, optimistic and enterprising in the days ahead.I am fully confident that I can make it soon because I succeeded one time!Time will heal everything!Everything will be all right in the end!
我曾告诉自己要是你说行那该多好呀，可事实却并非如此。我也曾告诉自己应该保留对你的爱并永不放弃直至收到你的好消息，但是我却怀疑那一天是否会到来。毕竟，我已经找不到可以让你爱我的理由了。所以，我决定停止做梦并作出那个艰难的决定。我会彻底地放下你就像放下邱婷一样。我会变得坚强起来、乐观起来并且在以后的日子里进取起来。我坚信我可以做的因为我做到过一次！时间会治愈一切的！万事都会好起来的！
I am really grateful to you for telling me directly how you feel of me and I would like to thank you for still regarding as your good friends. I really hope you can always be happy when you are with you boyfriend. I hope there will not be too much conflict between you two. Your birthday is just around the corner. It shames me to say I am not able to celebrate your birthday .The only thing that I can do is to say “Happy Birthday to You”in advance via this letter.
我非常感激你能够直接告诉我你对我的感受以及还想着把我当做你的朋友。我希望你和他在一起时能够快乐并没什么冲突。你的生日即将来临，我遗憾地说我恐怕不能庆祝你的生日了。我唯一能做的就是提前通过这封信向你说声：“生日快乐！”
May everything be good with you!
愿一切都安好！
May you can be happy all the time!
愿时刻都快乐！
May you can still be strong,optimistic and enterprising.
愿你也能仍然坚强、乐观并有进取心!
Feb. 2012
2012年2月
Yours,
Bruce