Mood

So，itseemsthatiwannasaysomething。ButIjustdon'tknowwhattosay。Inthepastgoodolddays，Ihavemuchwordsaboutmyfriends，aboutmyboringlife，aboutmydreams，myexperience。。。

IalwaysexpectthatIshouldexperiencesomethingtheniwouldbemoremature。Iwishiwouldact，talk，thinkmorelikeanadult，Somehow，thingsdonotgolikethat。Ineverexpectthatishouldbesomindless。Careaboutnothingthatthosebeautifuldreamsareallflyaway。Thoseonceicherishedfriendship，ivaluedsunshinglife，now，disappearentirely。

Iknowthatiamagirlwhoalwayshavemanytopicstotalkaboutformyoutgoingpersonality。Butitired。Tiredtospeak，tiredtocall，tiredtosendmessages。Everythingiwoulddobeforethatiwon'tdonow。Ihatethefeelingsthateachtimewhenihangdownthephone。Ihatethefeelingsthateachtimeaftermyhardtryingtomakeeveryonesmile。Istillhatethefeelingsthateachtimeipersuademyselftrustothers，helpothers，listentoothers。Whataterriblefeeling。

Maybeforothers，theycannotunderstandmeexactly。Iusedtonottellingmyselfout。Ihurtmanypeopleiknow，thoughIdon'tmeantodoso。Formostofthetime，ijustdon'tknowhowtodealwiththosethings。Iwouldrathertoescapethantofaceit。Iamantotalidiottowardthosethings。Iwon'tgivemyselfanychancetothinkaboutit。Whatever，iwon'ttry，won'tanswer，foriamsoscared！

Thenlifestillgoeson，whatkindoflifeIwouldchoosenext？Ithinkiwillhaveadeepthink！iknowitwouldbebright，wouldbeshiningandwouldfulloflaughters！Wishtheyguysabeaufulsunshinefuture！