幽默感谢的话语
《幽默感谢的话语》好句子大全
幽默感谢的话语1.要不是打不过你，我早跟你翻脸了
2.不想当厨子的裁缝不是好司机。
3.龙虾，海蟹， !我就爱吃带壳的! 服务员，给他来盘瓜子
4.牛肉面 大排面 便 饭 一日本人过来， 吃点什么? 这个，日本人用手一指 :牛大便!
5.我终究没能飙得过那辆宝马，只能眼看着它在夕阳中绝尘而去，不是我的引擎不好，而是我脚蹬子坏了!
6.901次航班，由打西直门开往中关村，票价5元，请您登机。你说这多有意思。乘务员站那儿得喊，快上快上有大座儿，有大座儿。( 散文阅读：www.sanwen.net )
7. 接了一活儿，完事能挣三十万……拿过图纸一看，盖一40米的烟囱，等盖好了，人家来一看，把我打了一通，图纸看倒了，人家让挖口井。
8.流氓会武术，谁也挡不篆…科学家会武术，流氓也挡不住!
9.一些女演员为了上戏和男导演 ，太无耻了!女导演太少，让我们这些个男演员怎么办?
10. 你拿的什么?我妈给带的鸡蛋。给我吃。不给……你猜，猜有几个。我猜出来你给我一个。你要猜出来我把这两个都给你。5个?
11.曾经有一个赚钱的机会摆在我的面前，但是我没有珍惜。机会过去了，我追悔莫及。假如上天再给我一个机会的话，我希望跟那个村长说：我愿意去。假如非让我在那工资前面加一个限额的话，我希望是：400元~
12.住的房子千疮百孔，一下雨算要了亲命了：外边小雨屋里中雨，外边大雨屋里暴雨，有时候雨实在太大了，全家人都上街上避雨去了。
13.英语、日语、韩语、南斯拉夫语、北斯拉夫语、西斯拉夫语...会7、8国外国话,和八国联军对着骂街都不带重样的~
14.你无耻的样子，颇有我年轻时候的神韵。
15.谁要不认识他，谁就没吃过猪肉。
16.有困难要帮，没有困难制造困难也要帮。
17.上次喝多了，拿筷子当鸡爪子，吃了一根半。
18.小妞，给大爷笑一个，不笑，那大爷给你笑一个 ~
19.那锁拿根面条一捅就开，一包方便面能开一小区。
20.你叫什么名字?你别说出来啊!你说出来就是骂街!
21.我扔铅球扔得可远了，教练说了，人出去了不算啊!
22.今天说的这故事，离现在不远，家里有老人的可以回去问问，在春秋战国时期啊 ……
23.遛累了，他坐这，狗坐这，一边高，谁过来都纳闷：这是谁家双胞胎啊?
24.我买50辆好车--奥拓、奥拓、奥拓……!用铁丝镖起来，开起来跟火车一样!
25.小学上了十年，中学十二年，我被评为全校最熟悉的面孔，新老师来了都跟我打听学校内幕……
26.我要了份鱼翅炒饭，用三双筷子楞没找着鱼翅，你能告诉我鱼翅在哪吗?厨师说，我叫鱼翅。
27. 你们千万别打他，也别骂他，不就是要钱么，咱好商量。不过丑话说头里，要是超过100块钱，你们就撕票得了。
28.中国北京有一军事奇才，叫郭德纲，文能提笔安天下，武能上马定乾坤;上炕认识娘儿们，下炕认识鞋。
29.跳-楼死多可乐，我研究过，二十层和二层效果不一样，二层是啪、啊!二十层是矮～～～～啪!。
扩展阅读：
非常经典有深度的电影英文台词
1.一个人总要走陌生的路，看陌生的风景，听陌生的歌，然后在某个不经意的瞬间，你会发现，原本是费尽心机想要忘记的事情真的就那么忘记了。
One is always on a strange road, watching strange scenery and listening to strange music. Then one day, you will find that the things you try hard to forget are already gone.
2.幸福，不是长生不老，不是大鱼大肉，不是权倾朝野。幸福是每一个微小的生活愿望达成。当你想吃的时候有得吃，想被爱的时候有人来爱你。
Happiness is not about being immortal nor having food or rights in one's hand. It’s about having each tiny wish come true, or having something to eat when you are hungry or having someone's love when you need love.
3.爱情是灯，友情是影子，当灯灭了，你会发现你的周围都是影子。朋友，是在最后可以给你力量的人。
Love is a lamp, while friendship is the shadow. When the lamp is off,you will find the shadow everywhere. Friend is who can give you strength at last.
4.我爱你不是因为你是谁，而是我在你面前可以是谁。
I love you not for who you are, but for who I am before you.
5.爱情，要么让人成熟，要么让人堕落。
Love makes man grow up or sink down.
6.举得起放得下的叫举重，举得起放不下的叫负重。可惜，大多数人的爱情，都是负重的。
If you can hold something up and put it down, it is called weight-lifting; if you can hold something up but can never put it down,it's called burden-bearing. Pitifully, most of people are bearing heavy burdens when they are in love.
7.我们每个人都生活在各自的过去中，人们会用一分钟的时间去认识一个人，用一小时的时间去喜欢一个人，再用一天的时间去爱上一个人，到最后呢，却要用一辈子的时间去忘记一个人。
We all live in the past. We take a minute to know someone, one hour to like someone, and one day to love someone, but the whole life to forget someone.
8.一个人一生可以爱上很多的人，等你获得真正属于你的幸福之后，你就会明白一起的伤痛其实是一种财富，它让你学会更好地去把握和珍惜你爱的人。
One may fall in love with many people during the lifetime. When you finally get your own happiness, you will understand the previous sadness is kind of treasure, which makes you better to hold and cherish the people you love.
9.年轻的时候会想要谈很多次恋爱，但是随着年龄的增长，终于领悟到爱一个人，就算用一辈子的时间，还是会嫌不够。慢慢地去了解这个人，体谅这个人，直到爱上为止，是需要有非常宽大的胸襟才行。
When you are young, you may want several love experiences. But as time goes on, you will realize that if you really love someone, the whole life will not be enough. You need time to know, to forgive and to love. All this needs a very big mind.
10.当明天变成了今天成为了昨天，最后成为记忆里不再重要的某一天，我们突然发现自己在不知不觉中已被时间推着向前走，这不是静止火车里，与相邻列车交错时，仿佛自己在前进的错觉，而是我们真实的在成长，在这件事里成了另一个自己。
When tomorrow turns in today, yesterday, and someday that no more important in your memory, we suddenly realize that we are pushed forward by time. This is not a train in still in which you may feel forward when another train goes by. It is the truth that we've all grown up. And we become different.
11.离开我就别安慰我，要知道每一次缝补也会遭遇穿刺的痛。
If you leave me, please don't comfort me because each sewing has to meet stinging pain.
12.曾经拥有的，不要忘记。不能得到的，更要珍惜。属于自己的，不要放弃。已经失去的，留作回忆。
Don’t forget the things you once you owned. Treasure the things youcan’t get. Don't give up the things that belong to you and keep those lost things in memory.
13.我喜欢并习惯了对变化的东西保持着距离，这样才会知道什么是最不会被时间抛弃的准则。比如爱一个人，充满变数，我于是后退一步，静静的看着，直到看见真诚的感情。
I love and am used to keeping a distance with those changed things.Only in this way can I know what will not be abandoned by time. For example, when you love someone, changes are all around. Then I step backward and watching it silently, then I see the true feelings.
14.男人的爱是俯视而生，而女人的爱是仰视而生。如果爱情像座山，那么男人越往上走可以俯视的女人就越多，而女人越往上走可以仰视的男人就越少。
Men love from overlooking while women love from looking up. If love is a mountain, then if men go up, more women they will see while women will see fewer men.
15.好的爱情是你通过一个人看到整个世界，坏的爱情是你为了一个人舍弃世界。
Good love makes you see the whole world from one person while bad love makes you abandon the whole world for one person.
16.在自己面前，应该一直留有一个地方，独自留在那里。然后去爱。不知道是什么，不知道是谁，不知道如何去爱，也不知道可以爱多久。只是等待一次爱情，也许永远都没有人。可是，这种等待，就是爱情本身。
We shall always save a place for ourselves, only for ourselves. And then begin to love. Have no idea of what it is, who he is, how to love or how long it will be. Just wait for one love. Maybe no one will come out, but this kind of waiting is the love itself.
17.有谁不曾为那暗恋而痛苦?我们总以为那份痴情很重，很重，是世上最重的重量。有一天，暮然回首，我们才发现，它一直都是很轻，很轻的。我们以为爱的很深，很深，来日岁月，会让你知道，它不过很浅，很浅。最深和最重的爱，必须和时日一起成长。
Is there anyone who hasn't suffered for the secret love? We always think that love is very heavy, heavy and could be the heaviest thing in the world. But one day, when you look back, you suddenly realize that it's always light, light. We all thought love was very deep, but in fact it's very thin. The deepest and heaviest love must grow up withthe time.
18.在这个世界上，只有真正快乐的男人，才能带给女人真正的快乐。
In this world, only those men who really feel happy can give women happiness
19.女人如果不性感，就要感性;如果没有感性，就要理性;如果没有理性，就要有自知之明;如果连这个都没有了，她只有不幸。
If a woman is not sexy, she needs emotion; if she is not emotional, she needs reason; if she is not reasonable, she has to know herself clearly. coz only she has is misfortune.
20.一段不被接受的爱情，需要的不是伤心，而是时间，一段可以用来遗忘的时间。一颗被深深伤了的心，需要的不是同情，而是理解。
An unacceptable love needs no sorrow but time- sometime for forgetting.A badly-hurt heart needs no sympathy but understanding.