新年损人的话

2014-05-27

《新年损人的话》好句子大全

新年损人的话1:窈窕淑女前面走,长发飘飘好温柔,猛然一回头~哇塞!好丑! 2:你灿烂的一笑,狼都上吊;你温柔的一叫,鸡飞狗跳;你潇洒的一站,臭味弥漫;你兴奋的出汗,虱子遭难;你不打扮,比鬼难看;你一打扮,把鬼吓瘫! 3:如果今天晚上有颗星星掉下,砸到叻你的头上,请不要担心,这是我托幸福之神送给你的礼物,从此,你就会~过着无忧无虑的幸福生活!因为~~砸傻叻! 4:往日朋友无数,唯你在我内心深处;众里寻你千百度,蓦然回首~你却在那驴棚深处!吃着草靠着树,头上裹着擦脚布。哇塞!谁家的驴这么酷! 5:话说有一天,你从路边捡到一盏魔灯;你擦叻一擦,出现一个魔鬼;他说:能满足你一个愿望!你说:我想长生不老,想刀枪不入,想学会游泳!结果~咔!你变成一王八…… 6:晶莹剔透的蓝天下,微微拂过春天的风,蝴蝶在草丛中翩翩起舞,空气中流淌着泥土的清香,你躺在那里暖暖的晒着肚皮,心里得意的想:矮下辈子我还做癞蛤-蟆! 7:你前看像被车碾过,侧看像被驴啃过,你丫就是人类创造史上最震撼、最失败的! 8:就你这份尊荣,人见叻人厌,鬼见叻鬼嚎;吓死一双是少的,吓死一车是好的;跟你说话一定要顶住压力!浑身正气!才能不被你的臭态所吓倒!见过懒死的,笨死的,没吃没喝穷死的;唯有你矮是史无前例能把所有人都丑死的! 9:你简直帅呆了,酷毙叻,傻叻巴唧没治叻!

鸡生的叫鸡蛋,鸭生的叫鸭蛋。会爆炸的叫炸弹,读完这个信息的叫混蛋,如果还在笑的是蠢蛋。生气的更是个大笨蛋,擦掉这条信息你就完蛋!气死你这个王八蛋!

一麻雀不小心在一头猪的头上拉了庖屎,猪很生气,麻雀就飞下来对猪说:“对不起,我不是故意的,我给你看个笑话吧,别生气了”,说完麻雀就在地上画了个圈,然后飞走了。猪看了半天没明白什么意思,于是拍拍自己的脑袋说:“难怪别人都说我苯呢!”

很怀念当年我们一起散步的日子,春光明媚。鸟语花香。乡亲们都夸你好漂亮好可爱。乡亲们也夸我好聪明好能干,这么小就出来放猪了。

当你在路上遇到狗的时候不要惊慌,要勇敢地与它博斗,仅多会有三种结果:一是你赢了,你比狗厉害;二是你输了,你连狗都不如;三是你们打平了,你和狗一样。

如果没有风,云不会动;如果没有水,鱼不能游;如果没有太阳,月亮就不会有光;如果没有你……笨人也就不存在了。( 文章阅读网:www.sanwen.net )

这是一个真实的恐怖故事:听说只要在深夜12点钟身穿黑衣服站在镜子前拿着梳子,梳12下头发,你就会看见。。。头皮屑。

失落时我想你,寂寞时我要你,拥有你是我无尽幸福,巧遇你令我莫名兴奋,你是我毕生最爱!但我穷困潦倒时你走了!回来吧亲爱的人……民币。

你知道吗?没有你的短信时我想过死,我曾经用面条上吊,用豆腐敲头,用可乐服毒,用降落伞跳-楼,用筷子割脉,昨天我鼓起勇气摸了电门,可惜停电了,唉,都没成功!你看我多想你。

扩展阅读:

非常经典有深度的电影英文台词

1.一个人总要走陌生的路,看陌生的风景,听陌生的歌,然后在某个不经意的瞬间,你会发现,原本是费尽心机想要忘记的事情真的就那么忘记了。

One is always on a strange road, watching strange scenery and listening to strange music. Then one day, you will find that the things you try hard to forget are already gone.

2.幸福,不是长生不老,不是大鱼大肉,不是权倾朝野。幸福是每一个微小的生活愿望达成。当你想吃的时候有得吃,想被爱的时候有人来爱你。

Happiness is not about being immortal nor having food or rights in one's hand. It’s about having each tiny wish come true, or having something to eat when you are hungry or having someone's love when you need love.

3.爱情是灯,友情是影子,当灯灭了,你会发现你的周围都是影子。朋友,是在最后可以给你力量的人。

Love is a lamp, while friendship is the shadow. When the lamp is off,you will find the shadow everywhere. Friend is who can give you strength at last.

4.我爱你不是因为你是谁,而是我在你面前可以是谁。

I love you not for who you are, but for who I am before you.

5.爱情,要么让人成熟,要么让人堕落。

Love makes man grow up or sink down.

6.举得起放得下的叫举重,举得起放不下的叫负重。可惜,大多数人的爱情,都是负重的。

If you can hold something up and put it down, it is called weight-lifting; if you can hold something up but can never put it down,it's called burden-bearing. Pitifully, most of people are bearing heavy burdens when they are in love.

7.我们每个人都生活在各自的过去中,人们会用一分钟的时间去认识一个人,用一小时的时间去喜欢一个人,再用一天的时间去爱上一个人,到最后呢,却要用一辈子的时间去忘记一个人。

We all live in the past. We take a minute to know someone, one hour to like someone, and one day to love someone, but the whole life to forget someone.

8.一个人一生可以爱上很多的人,等你获得真正属于你的幸福之后,你就会明白一起的伤痛其实是一种财富,它让你学会更好地去把握和珍惜你爱的人。

One may fall in love with many people during the lifetime. When you finally get your own happiness, you will understand the previous sadness is kind of treasure, which makes you better to hold and cherish the people you love.

9.年轻的时候会想要谈很多次恋爱,但是随着年龄的增长,终于领悟到爱一个人,就算用一辈子的时间,还是会嫌不够。慢慢地去了解这个人,体谅这个人,直到爱上为止,是需要有非常宽大的胸襟才行。

When you are young, you may want several love experiences. But as time goes on, you will realize that if you really love someone, the whole life will not be enough. You need time to know, to forgive and to love. All this needs a very big mind.

10.当明天变成了今天成为了昨天,最后成为记忆里不再重要的某一天,我们突然发现自己在不知不觉中已被时间推着向前走,这不是静止火车里,与相邻列车交错时,仿佛自己在前进的错觉,而是我们真实的在成长,在这件事里成了另一个自己。

When tomorrow turns in today, yesterday, and someday that no more important in your memory, we suddenly realize that we are pushed forward by time. This is not a train in still in which you may feel forward when another train goes by. It is the truth that we've all grown up. And we become different.

11.离开我就别安慰我,要知道每一次缝补也会遭遇穿刺的痛。

If you leave me, please don't comfort me because each sewing has to meet stinging pain.

12.曾经拥有的,不要忘记。不能得到的,更要珍惜。属于自己的,不要放弃。已经失去的,留作回忆。

Don’t forget the things you once you owned. Treasure the things youcan’t get. Don't give up the things that belong to you and keep those lost things in memory.

13.我喜欢并习惯了对变化的东西保持着距离,这样才会知道什么是最不会被时间抛弃的准则。比如爱一个人,充满变数,我于是后退一步,静静的看着,直到看见真诚的感情。

I love and am used to keeping a distance with those changed things.Only in this way can I know what will not be abandoned by time. For example, when you love someone, changes are all around. Then I step backward and watching it silently, then I see the true feelings.

14.男人的爱是俯视而生,而女人的爱是仰视而生。如果爱情像座山,那么男人越往上走可以俯视的女人就越多,而女人越往上走可以仰视的男人就越少。

Men love from overlooking while women love from looking up. If love is a mountain, then if men go up, more women they will see while women will see fewer men.

15.好的爱情是你通过一个人看到整个世界,坏的爱情是你为了一个人舍弃世界。

Good love makes you see the whole world from one person while bad love makes you abandon the whole world for one person.

16.在自己面前,应该一直留有一个地方,独自留在那里。然后去爱。不知道是什么,不知道是谁,不知道如何去爱,也不知道可以爱多久。只是等待一次爱情,也许永远都没有人。可是,这种等待,就是爱情本身。

We shall always save a place for ourselves, only for ourselves. And then begin to love. Have no idea of what it is, who he is, how to love or how long it will be. Just wait for one love. Maybe no one will come out, but this kind of waiting is the love itself.

17.有谁不曾为那暗恋而痛苦?我们总以为那份痴情很重,很重,是世上最重的重量。有一天,暮然回首,我们才发现,它一直都是很轻,很轻的。我们以为爱的很深,很深,来日岁月,会让你知道,它不过很浅,很浅。最深和最重的爱,必须和时日一起成长。

Is there anyone who hasn't suffered for the secret love? We always think that love is very heavy, heavy and could be the heaviest thing in the world. But one day, when you look back, you suddenly realize that it's always light, light. We all thought love was very deep, but in fact it's very thin. The deepest and heaviest love must grow up withthe time.

18.在这个世界上,只有真正快乐的男人,才能带给女人真正的快乐。

In this world, only those men who really feel happy can give women happiness

19.女人如果不性感,就要感性;如果没有感性,就要理性;如果没有理性,就要有自知之明;如果连这个都没有了,她只有不幸。

If a woman is not sexy, she needs emotion; if she is not emotional, she needs reason; if she is not reasonable, she has to know herself clearly. coz only she has is misfortune.

20.一段不被接受的爱情,需要的不是伤心,而是时间,一段可以用来遗忘的时间。一颗被深深伤了的心,需要的不是同情,而是理解。

An unacceptable love needs no sorrow but time- sometime for forgetting.A badly-hurt heart needs no sympathy but understanding.