让人心情变好的话
《让人心情变好的话》好句子大全
让人心情变好的话三个犯人坐在一斜眼法官面前。法官：你叫什么名字?第二个犯人：比尔。法官咆哮着：我没有问你!第三个犯人委屈道：可我什么也没说呀!
男：你是世界上第二幸福的人。因为我拥有你，我是世界上最幸福的人。女：不过，我很快就要成为世界上最幸福的人了，我很快就将离开你!
某人：上帝你眼中一万年意味着什么?上帝：一秒钟。某人：一万个金币意味着什么?上帝：一个铜。某人：请给我一个铜板吧!上帝：好，等一秒钟。
有个人去看病后医生摇头，病人：还有几天好活?医生比划一个10。 病人：10年?10个月?10个星期?医生什么也没做数着：10987……
妻：婚前你不是说我是你的全世界吗?为什么你现在又去找别的女人?夫：嗯。那是因为我的地理常识变丰富了。
顾客从药店出来药店伙计追上来：对不起您要的是补药我错给您了毒药。 顾客：差点出大事。伙计：可不是，老板知道肯定骂我，毒药比补药贵一倍呢!( 文章阅读网：www.sanwen.net )
女：医生，我丈夫老说梦话。医生：噢，那不要紧，我可以给你开一张能治他病的处方。女：你敢!他只有在梦里才跟我说话。
有个人到监狱探望人，看到一人手上刺有“小良”两个字，他就问：你的朋友叫小良?那个人说：我刺的是“恨”字，只是最近发胖了。
物理课老师提问：什么物体最重?冬冬站起来发言：我们家外公最重!老师感到奇怪：你外公? 冬冬：对，爸爸写信时称呼他为‘泰山’ !
我还没有发现你这么能吃，竟然把我贮备一冬天的白菜全吃光了，虽然今年白菜一斤只有八分钱，但菜农们对你还是感激涕零。他们都说：“多亏了大蛆，要不然今年的白菜怎么卖啊!”
月黑风高的夜晚，某男独自徘徊在马路上，因为失恋他感觉生活没了一点意义，什么都无法让他兴奋。突然，他感到了少有的兴奋，因为他看到了一个装有东西的塑料袋躺在地上，里边会有什么呢?会不会有值钱的东西?他左右张望了一下，没人!他小心的弯下腰去，捡起了这个袋子，还怪沉的!他若无其事地提着它走回了住地。室友们还在打牌，他悄悄地将这个袋子拎进了洗手间，一层层打开，差点没叫出来!原来袋里装的是厨房的生活垃圾，还有了恶臭味儿!不过他也庆幸：幸好捡的是生活垃圾，如果捡了更可怕的，那真要吓出病来!
外孙女国外留学归来，兴高采烈地到乡里去看外婆，并特别提出了要吃玉米棒子。外婆便来了个玉米大餐，煮玉米、炒玉米、烤玉米都做给外孙女吃，外孙女可兴奋了，说：“外婆，你对我真好!这么多玉米要多少钱啊?”“外孙女爱吃就放开肚皮吃，反正每年的玉米喂猪，猪都吃不完!”
一天早上乘公交车，忽然听到几个小学生在背李白的诗，仔细一听却是：日照马桶生紫烟, 李白来到洗手间。小李飞刀一瞬间，李白变成小太监。
扩展阅读：
非常经典有深度的电影英文台词
1.一个人总要走陌生的路，看陌生的风景，听陌生的歌，然后在某个不经意的瞬间，你会发现，原本是费尽心机想要忘记的事情真的就那么忘记了。
One is always on a strange road, watching strange scenery and listening to strange music. Then one day, you will find that the things you try hard to forget are already gone.
2.幸福，不是长生不老，不是大鱼大肉，不是权倾朝野。幸福是每一个微小的生活愿望达成。当你想吃的时候有得吃，想被爱的时候有人来爱你。
Happiness is not about being immortal nor having food or rights in one's hand. It’s about having each tiny wish come true, or having something to eat when you are hungry or having someone's love when you need love.
3.爱情是灯，友情是影子，当灯灭了，你会发现你的周围都是影子。朋友，是在最后可以给你力量的人。
Love is a lamp, while friendship is the shadow. When the lamp is off,you will find the shadow everywhere. Friend is who can give you strength at last.
4.我爱你不是因为你是谁，而是我在你面前可以是谁。
I love you not for who you are, but for who I am before you.
5.爱情，要么让人成熟，要么让人堕落。
Love makes man grow up or sink down.
6.举得起放得下的叫举重，举得起放不下的叫负重。可惜，大多数人的爱情，都是负重的。
If you can hold something up and put it down, it is called weight-lifting; if you can hold something up but can never put it down,it's called burden-bearing. Pitifully, most of people are bearing heavy burdens when they are in love.
7.我们每个人都生活在各自的过去中，人们会用一分钟的时间去认识一个人，用一小时的时间去喜欢一个人，再用一天的时间去爱上一个人，到最后呢，却要用一辈子的时间去忘记一个人。
We all live in the past. We take a minute to know someone, one hour to like someone, and one day to love someone, but the whole life to forget someone.
8.一个人一生可以爱上很多的人，等你获得真正属于你的幸福之后，你就会明白一起的伤痛其实是一种财富，它让你学会更好地去把握和珍惜你爱的人。
One may fall in love with many people during the lifetime. When you finally get your own happiness, you will understand the previous sadness is kind of treasure, which makes you better to hold and cherish the people you love.
9.年轻的时候会想要谈很多次恋爱，但是随着年龄的增长，终于领悟到爱一个人，就算用一辈子的时间，还是会嫌不够。慢慢地去了解这个人，体谅这个人，直到爱上为止，是需要有非常宽大的胸襟才行。
When you are young, you may want several love experiences. But as time goes on, you will realize that if you really love someone, the whole life will not be enough. You need time to know, to forgive and to love. All this needs a very big mind.
10.当明天变成了今天成为了昨天，最后成为记忆里不再重要的某一天，我们突然发现自己在不知不觉中已被时间推着向前走，这不是静止火车里，与相邻列车交错时，仿佛自己在前进的错觉，而是我们真实的在成长，在这件事里成了另一个自己。
When tomorrow turns in today, yesterday, and someday that no more important in your memory, we suddenly realize that we are pushed forward by time. This is not a train in still in which you may feel forward when another train goes by. It is the truth that we've all grown up. And we become different.
11.离开我就别安慰我，要知道每一次缝补也会遭遇穿刺的痛。
If you leave me, please don't comfort me because each sewing has to meet stinging pain.
12.曾经拥有的，不要忘记。不能得到的，更要珍惜。属于自己的，不要放弃。已经失去的，留作回忆。
Don’t forget the things you once you owned. Treasure the things youcan’t get. Don't give up the things that belong to you and keep those lost things in memory.
13.我喜欢并习惯了对变化的东西保持着距离，这样才会知道什么是最不会被时间抛弃的准则。比如爱一个人，充满变数，我于是后退一步，静静的看着，直到看见真诚的感情。
I love and am used to keeping a distance with those changed things.Only in this way can I know what will not be abandoned by time. For example, when you love someone, changes are all around. Then I step backward and watching it silently, then I see the true feelings.
14.男人的爱是俯视而生，而女人的爱是仰视而生。如果爱情像座山，那么男人越往上走可以俯视的女人就越多，而女人越往上走可以仰视的男人就越少。
Men love from overlooking while women love from looking up. If love is a mountain, then if men go up, more women they will see while women will see fewer men.
15.好的爱情是你通过一个人看到整个世界，坏的爱情是你为了一个人舍弃世界。
Good love makes you see the whole world from one person while bad love makes you abandon the whole world for one person.
16.在自己面前，应该一直留有一个地方，独自留在那里。然后去爱。不知道是什么，不知道是谁，不知道如何去爱，也不知道可以爱多久。只是等待一次爱情，也许永远都没有人。可是，这种等待，就是爱情本身。
We shall always save a place for ourselves, only for ourselves. And then begin to love. Have no idea of what it is, who he is, how to love or how long it will be. Just wait for one love. Maybe no one will come out, but this kind of waiting is the love itself.
17.有谁不曾为那暗恋而痛苦?我们总以为那份痴情很重，很重，是世上最重的重量。有一天，暮然回首，我们才发现，它一直都是很轻，很轻的。我们以为爱的很深，很深，来日岁月，会让你知道，它不过很浅，很浅。最深和最重的爱，必须和时日一起成长。
Is there anyone who hasn't suffered for the secret love? We always think that love is very heavy, heavy and could be the heaviest thing in the world. But one day, when you look back, you suddenly realize that it's always light, light. We all thought love was very deep, but in fact it's very thin. The deepest and heaviest love must grow up withthe time.
18.在这个世界上，只有真正快乐的男人，才能带给女人真正的快乐。
In this world, only those men who really feel happy can give women happiness
19.女人如果不性感，就要感性;如果没有感性，就要理性;如果没有理性，就要有自知之明;如果连这个都没有了，她只有不幸。
If a woman is not sexy, she needs emotion; if she is not emotional, she needs reason; if she is not reasonable, she has to know herself clearly. coz only she has is misfortune.
20.一段不被接受的爱情，需要的不是伤心，而是时间，一段可以用来遗忘的时间。一颗被深深伤了的心，需要的不是同情，而是理解。
An unacceptable love needs no sorrow but time- sometime for forgetting.A badly-hurt heart needs no sympathy but understanding.